Daddy-o

I have realized that I say some words to often. For instance, the words "so" and the phrase "heck yes". Haha. I mean it is not necessarily a bad thing, but I suspect it gets kind of old. Anyway. So I haven't blogged in a little bit and I don't really feeling like catching people up on everything so I am just going to share some random stuff that is on my mind.

I went to my dad's for dinner today. That is always kind of weird cuz my mom and him never got married and then my dad has other kids who have kids who are anywhere from 2 months old to eleven years old. Makes it awkward cuz the kids are all getting so big. I mean I love that side of my family, it is just kind of hard to go over there sometimes, cuz I feel like I don't really fit it very well. And to make it even more awkward, my dad's wife's cousin came over for dinner too. Which meant I had some lady I don't even know, giving me weird looks. And I love my dad, but he does this thing where he asks me what I have been up to lately and then five minutes later he will repeat the exact same thing to everyone else and sometimes he even gets it wrong. Haha. But he makes it look like we talk alot and that he knows so much about me, but he really doesn't. So tonight I talked to my half-sister, Abbey, and she asked if dad and I talk alot and I told her no. She seemed kind of surprised. Which, weirdly enough, didn't surprise me. But then Abby and I talked for a good hour and played with her two adorable sons, Austin ("Tex") and Gabe. They are both so cute. But yeah. I went to my dads which was fun, but it is always a little hard. And Abby is definitely amazing though, she is always so nice to me and doesn't even care about the whole history about our dad. She even offered to let me stay at her house this summer in California which is so cool. And if things pan out the same as they are now, I might surely take her up on the offer.

However. I have to stop writing cuz Megan needs her laptop. But I just felt like writing about today. And thoughts I guess.

Oh and I recieved a letter from Austin on saturday. Man that boy is hilarious. Hope you guys are all writing him.

Have a lovely day!

I Can See Clearly Now the Rain is Gone

WOW
So this week has been super crazy but things have been really good actually.
I am more exhausted than ever, but life is really starting to fall into place.
Today I had my Junior Choir concert, and even though half the choir forgot half the words, it was still ok.
Um. Musical Theatre Showcase is thursday and I am really excited.
Also. I am making fudge with my Grandma tomorrow and I made caramel with my mom Sunday.
Ok. So I officially have a talent representative who lives in LA. Exciting right?! I have a three year contract, unless I act in a movie, which then he will be my rep for as long as I want. Yeah. I'm super excited. I start recieving audition dates on the 22nd.
What else?
OH! So last night I finally wrote back to Austin and it crazy how much I haven't told him. Thinking about it now I even forgot about some stuff to tell him. But it was really nice to write him again.
Hm. So i have an english test tomorrow. An APUSH test and a spanish oral test on thursday. And a chemisty test on friday. But I'm really not worried.
Oh and saturday is the murder mystery dinner and it is Harry Potter themed. Annie P wrote the story and everyone gets there own part. well.... I got Looney Luna Lovegood. :D I am so excited. Becca and I are watching the first and fifth Harry Potter's on friday night to prep for the dinner. It is going to be SOOOO fun.
Anyway. My little sister has fallen asleep in my floor and I need to do some chemistry homework. So maybe I will write more later.

Nighty Night.
Sleep Tight.
Don't let the bed bugs bite.
And if they do punch them black and blue.
Cut them in two.
Half for me, Half for you.

Have a lovely day!

Life is an amazing thing!

So I haven't actually written on this for a while. I haven't had much time to sit down, but today, on November 17 I am going to take some time (that I don't really have to give) and write about some stuff that I have been through the last little bit and some surprising things I have found out. And don't be annoyed but I might be vague on some of it.

So hm.... lets see. Where to start?

About 7 weeks ago I really liked this guy. Like I had... all summer. But sadly he was leaving soon, and for a long time to boot. So I was kind of depressed so I wanted to hang out with him as much as I could, but since it was volleyball season I had little time to give, if any. So then a friend of mine started spending more time with him and then he started liking her a little and all the while he liked someone else. Well. Long story short- some things happened that surprised me. I might have hurt someone because they wanted to spend time with him right before he left, but I was selfish and wanted to hang out with him too. And I was hurt really bad in alot of ways.

After he left things seemed to sort themselves out for me. I had volleyball to keep me busy for a while which was good. Then my cousin stepped it up and really befriended me, which was amazing of her. Then I asked someone to masquerade and had an AMAZING time. Best date ever! And after volleyball ended I went straight into having to work on National Honor Society stuff and then the play needed help so I helped with that. So my mind was busy, I was happy, everything was going really good. I was writing Shippy and he was writing back.... then I found out some stuff and sort of lost the want to write him. Which I really regret. Things that happened are in the past and I should have just moved on, because it is not like they can be erased. So I think I will write him soon but I'm not sure.

Present Day. I am right stage grip (assistant stage manager) for Thoroughly Modern Millie at school right now and it is SO fun. The cast is amazing and I have my musical boyfriend so things are going great. I have decided that stupid drama isn't worth worrying about. The boys in the cast are hilarious and I haven't had so much fun in a long time. Tonight is closing night and I can't even begin to explain how sad I am about that. But luckily alot of the boys are going to switch into productions and so I will be able to hang out with them every other day. Yay! So yeah. My life is really good right now. I have alot of friends. I'm pretty busy with NHS. We are going to start the musical theatre concert piece in productions soon and I am SOOO excited. So yeah. This post is just kind of a formal update about what has been going on with me lately.

Have a lovely day!

It's A Cold and It's a Broken Hallelujah

Its sad when people you know,

become people you knew.

When you can walk right past someone,

like they were never a big part of your life.

How you used to be able to talk for hours,

and now you can barely even look at them.

Teenage Drama Queen (Very Short Post)

Updates:
Shippy left.
I went to Heber this weekend.
It was my brother, lindsay, and my grandpa's birthday friday.
I might have cracked my rib.
I'm kinda lost at what to do lately. (in general)
I met Graham on thursday.
I did yard work today.
It is UEA weekend.

Thoughts:
(none)

Quotes:
*There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true. (unknown)
*Memories are the treasures that we keep locked deep within the storehouse of our souls, to keep our hearts warm when we are lonely. (unknown)
*Why ruin the way you think of someone when they can't defend themselves, when you can remember them at their best? (m.mabey)

Random Updates & Thoughts

Updates
* I jammed my thumb and it hurts really bad.
* For the first time in a long while my problems in life are not caused by boys.
* My ankles are stupid and I need to get them x-ray'd. (which i actually learned was really bad for you, today in chemistry)
* Volleyball is SO fun & I love the girls on my team.
* I'm still sick but slowly getting better.
* School is going pretty good.
* I'm having an inter-conflict of having to choose between sports and theatre and I am really being pulled towards sports.
* I've met some new friends that are way nice.
* I overall am pretty happy.

Thoughts
* Ok. So lately I have been talking to some people and it makes me realize how stupid some people really are. I mean honestly who tells someone that they are only physically attractive. I mean maybe it went down a little differently, but even so, you should not say it that straight forward. You should just try and actually get to know them more cuz once you did I bet you would discover how fricken amazing that person is.
* Secondly. I wish I was like super-woman or something and could fix everyone's problem. Like honestly. I hate it when my friends are sad. Especially when there is nothing I can do about. But no joke, if all my friends were happy and all my family was happy, I would be the happiest person ever. I care so much about the people around me. They literally mean the world to me.
* Thirdly. I have discovered that I have become an introvert so if that annoys you sorry. But I have had to deal with my sister's car accident and all, this summer so I have kind of had to. And I have decided it is good to do. Then you don't have to worry that other people will be sad cuz of how you are or something. But anyway. So yeah. I'm sorry if that bugs you.
* Fourthly. Volleyball is the most amazing sport ever. The girls are hilarious and I love them so much. We all went to Maggie Moo's tonight after our game and I hadn't laughed that had in SO long. Oh and also, during the varsity game, me and maddie were sitting on the bench making faces at eachother and she actually started crying cuz she was laughing so hard. It was GREAT! But tonight we all had a bonding night and went to Maggie Moo's, then we went to Sunnyside Park with some of the football guys and played night games. Which kind of failed so me and Liz hung out with the football boys, which are hilarious by the way. Anywho. Yeah. Volleyball= Amazing.
* Fifthly. My family is amazing. They sure give me tons of crap sometimes, but I love them. They hold me up and keep me going. My mom is the most amazing woman you will ever meet. She has been through so much and yet she still gets up everyday and works her butt off for her kids. I love her. Then my older sister, Megan, she may cause me alot of tears but I love that girl. She is the best older sister someone could ask for. I can go to her whenever I have boy problems and no matter what she will agree with me, even if I am bipolar and say I like someone then ten seconds later I hate them. She still agree's with me. My little sister. She is such a cutie. She came to volleyball with me this summer and just ran around encouraging me. She does that all the time. She is always concerned about me and says things like 'Are you ok, honey?' No joke. She is the cutest little sister ever. My older brother. Holy cow. Talk about motivation. He got married at nineteen to his lovely wife Rebecca Clements Mabey and now he gets up and works EVERY week day then holds out his calling in the church on Sunday's. He truly is amazing. He is always there for me. And if it wasn't for him I would listen to crappy music and I wouldn't be addicted to xbox 360. Once again I love my family. They are amazing.
* Finally. My friends. They are amazing. Sometimes you do stupid things. But I will ALWAYS try and be there for you and I will always be there to listen to anything you ever need to vent about or anything. ALL OF YOU. I love you. You really are amazing people. All my friends are. Even when you bug me cuz you won't tell me something. Friends are your guidance and they are meant to help you through anything and not judge you. That is what they are for. I am trying to be that kind of a friend. And yes sometimes I may be pissed and ignore you for a day or two. But I am not going to lie, I am very judgemental. I always have been. Even though I hate being judged I still judge people which is stupid. I know. But I am sharing my thoughts less and less. Hence the introvert. So Anyway. I love all of you. Never think you are worth anything less that amazing. You are all going to go on and do amazing things in life and I hope that I will still be able to be there when you do so. I have let amazing friendships slip through my fingers for stupid reasons. So you should always hold onto your friends because it takes forever to make an amazing friendship. But you could destroy one with a stupid sentence and action. So just be careful.

I told a friend once. 'If you settle for mediocre you will have a mediocre life, but if you fight for what you love you will have an amazing life.' I truly believe life is an obstacle put in your way and trying to see how far you will go before you fail. Never give up- Never fail- Never settle for mediocre.

A Final Note

Ok. So I lied. I am blogging again.
But there are just a few things I would like to say. I have been hurt alot in the past few days but I'm glad that I was. It made me realize some very important things. Mainly about family, friends, and boys.
Firstly, family.
They are the best things that ever happened to you. You were put in your family for a reason and they will help you through things. They love you, and since they have no choice really, they always will.
Secondly, boys.
They are nice to have around. But when they make you question friendships, or cause unnecessary fights with your friends, or hurt you so badly that they make you cry. Then it just isn't worth it. At least not at my age.
And finally, friends.
They are people you can lean on. Yes you get in stupid fights, but that's ok.
Occasionally you say things you regret. And you wish you could word things a little differently sometimes. And take other things back. You hurt eachother on accident. And sometimes all you want to do is scream at eachother. But best friends should always be there for each other. At least I would want to be that kind of a best friend. I love my best friends. They are amazing.
Rosie Lund, Michelle Price, Morgan Callaway, Lindsay McSweeney, Kyrianna McCullough, Tarynn Leppert, Priscilla Cover, Carly Christensen, Brooke Ramos, Lynley Allen, Madison O'Bagey.
All of those girls have hurt me at one time or another. All of those girls are amazing. I have amazing memories with each one of them. And I always will.

You should always cherish your friends. They will be the ones you remember. Then ones you have the best stories with. The ones you fight with the most. The ones you cry with the most. The ones you love the most. But they are your best friends. And that's what they are for.

My Little Piece Of Heaven

So as you all know... or should know... this past weekend was labor day weekend. My family decided that it would be fun to go up to my family cabin, so friday after school we headed up. The car was super packed so it was kind of chaotic to get out of town, but we did it.
Friday
So we got up there and it was SUPER super hot outside. The first night my brother brought up steaks and they were super tasty. And they were huge. Like those ones you see in movies that the dogs eat. Yeah those. But they were way good. And we had asparagus and those are way yummy. Anyway. I will stop blabbing about the food. But then my family decided to watch Casino Royale and make smores and since I don't particularly like smores I decided I would go downstairs and do a puzzle. I found this one that was super hard and had 1000 pieces. Anyway. Then I got super tired (probably cuz it was like one in the morning) so I went to bed.
Saturday
So I woke up at twelve thirty and my mom made everyone pancakes and bacon so I was super happy. Then my family and I went up to Smith and Morehouse and went on a hike up to a beaver damn and we took alot of really cool pictures. Then we went down to the lake and I was super tired (like I always am) and so I slept in the car while Megan and Tanner went fishing. Then we went back to the cabin and Matt and Becky left so we drove down part way with them then went to the Polar King. Which is, by the way, the greasiest, grimiest, yuckiest, most amazing burger and shake place ever. I love it. Anywho. Then we went back up to the cabin and Megan, Tanner, and I played Clue. It was way fun. Then Megan and I worked on the puzzle for a while and finished most of the border. Then at about two in the morning I passed out on the bed.
Sunday
I slept in until a quarter to two. Then my mom made waffles and it was super yummy. After breakfast I layed down cuz I still felt tired. Then I slept til like five at night. Then I got up and went outside cuz it was POURING rain. I was gorgeous. Then I slept for a little longer. Then Tanner took me and Megan to go learn how to fish. While we were at the lake I learned how to regular fish and fly fish. Then we switched spots and I gave my sister the fishing rod. Then almost instantly the national forest officers showed up and face my sister and Tanner a ticket cuz we don't have fishing licenses. But I didn't get one. It was so nice. Then it started raining again so we went back to the cabin. Then I ate dinner(which was chicken and rice... mmmm). Then we played clue again then Me and Megan and Tanner worked on the puzzle for a while. At one point I had to move the car into the garage cuz we were worried the hail was going to dent our car. Then I went back to the puzzle. Then we went upstairs to get a snack and I fell asleep the on couch.

Monday
Then, somehow, I woke up in my bed downstairs. I'm not really sure how. But I only got to sleep in until ten thirty cuz my sister was squishing my into the wall. So I got up and watched a movie with my little sister. Then I helped clean and the rain started to pour. Then we got in the car and started the drive back. On the way home we stopped at an ice cream shop and I got superman ice cream. It was super delicious. Then we drove home and the second I got out of the car I saw a dog get hit by a car. Talk about a bang back into reality. Anywho. That was my weekend. But it was AMAZING.

.... I wish I could go back....
...no reception...
..no people..
.no worries.

Just a Quick Note

Just checking in to say I am all good. Everything is resolved. I'm ok. And I am no longer angsty. That is good. I start school in a week. Volleyball is into full swing so i am busy. I got my license today. And I am mostly happy. So if you cared or care I'm good. :) Have a fantastic week!

Updated at 3:02 am.
haha. just kidding. i just read some things and thought about some things and i kinda wish i hadn't cuz now i have this huge knot in my stomach that kinda feels like someone punched me or something. maybe it is just from doing cruches at volleyball today but hm. i dunno. i'll work it out. :D

Updated at 3:13
Ok. I have decided that there is no need to worry. I just need to not over-think things, especially this late, well early, in the night. So I am once again ok. Haha.

p.s. fifty-seven days

Ten to One in Fourty-Eight Hours

So this week has been INSANE. I have had volleyball two-a-days everyday from nine in the morning til two in the afternoon. Then I have had drivers ed ever day cuz I just want to get it done. Anyway. So I have been really tired all week. But, surprisingly enough, I had been in a pretty good mood. I was happy, I didn't think I liked anyone, I was always busy so I didn't have time to think about things. I just went on my first date and I was having an incredibly amazing time just having fun all weekend. So that was how it was.

Then about fourty-eight hours ago I got really really tired, and I started getting this super bad headache, but I was still ok because I finally decided I might like someone and I thought, hey, maybe they might like me too. So I hung out with Rosie, as usual, and then we went and hung out with Anthony and Shippy and Rosie left. I stayed for a while and just talked to them and I was way fun just to relax and talk. Then I went home with a few tiny regrets but I didn't quite know they were regrets.

Then yesterday went pretty well, I went to volleyball as usual (and we did like a TON of lunges and so I am really sore), drivers ed, and then I went to the orthodonist, and then I came home. After that my mom and I went up to my grandparents and talked to them for a while, cuz they just got back from a cruise in Russia. Then I came home and I had my throbbing headache again, then Rosie came over and I was just super irritated and I wanted to relax but I think Rosie was a little more awake than I was. But anyway, my sister did something and I WAY over-reacted cuz I was super super irritated and tired, and I had a stuffy nose. So I just layed on my bed and Rosie left at like eleven thirty. Then my mom said she thought she heard me crying... she said I was snoring.

Then finally today I woke up late and went to volleyball ten minutes late. We worked on dives today so I got like six new bruises on my hips, knees, and elbows. So I am in pain. Then I had to leave volleyball early, as usual, to go to drivers ed. But I was still in an ok mood cuz I had been talking to sam all day and I was super excited for him to come home. Then I went to drivers ed and fell asleep during my observation cuz I have been so tired lately and I woke up with a pounding headache. Then I came home and sat on the computer for an hour putting pictures on facebook. Then I went with my mom to get pizza from little caesars and I text Rosie and she said she was going to go hang out with Sam... Then I went to my grandparents and talked to my cousins while my little sister swam. Then I was, not really yelled at but I don't know how else to say it, more so, told that I always like people that don't care about me and that sorta punched me in the face. Then my headache came back and my contacts started freaking out. So again, here I sit on the computer, really angsty and irritated. But yeah.

Thanks for listening to me rant. :D Have a beautiful rest of the day!

Disney Channel and Coke

So it is 9:30 am now and I STILL haven't gone to bed. haha. yeah. I couldn't fall asleep all night. It sucked. anyway so i entertained myself watching jonas brothers music videos on youtube and watching random shows on tv. then morning finally came and i cleaned my microwave, mopped the floors on my hands and knees (it was actually kind of fun), cleaned my sister's fish tank, and cleaned the counters. Then I cleaned my room and got dressed for the day. I felt kind of bad though cuz I text anthony at like 8:00ish and I woke him up. I'm still sorry about that by the way. Anywho. Now I am just sitting on the floor of my room watching spongebob. I was watcing disney channel though but it was an episode I have already seen so I changed the channel. I have a feeling that the only that will keep me awake today is coke. And I have to stay awake cuz I think I am going with my dad today (it might be tomorrow, not really sure) and then my mom gets home. Plus, I have to clean the car. But yeah. This is a really random post. But I was bored and it sounded appealing to blog.
On another note, I finished drivers ed last night, Rosie helped me ALOT. In fact, she was the one clicking the answer while i found other answers so we got it done REALLY fast. so that is relieving. Now I have my drives scheduled for next week and then I will do my observations and then be able to get my license by the nineteenth (i hope) so that is exciting. OH! also volleyball tryout are this week. I'm sort of excited, but at the same time... we have to run a 5-minute mile and that does not sound appealing, especially since the last time I ran it felt like my ribs were crushing in on eachother. But oh well. I'll suck it up. Um. Yeah. Oh and my birthday is on wednesday. Sweet Sixteen! woo! um. OH! My sister's best friend is coming to the valley from colorado with my mom today. She stays til like saturday I think which is SUPER exciting. I love that girl she is SO cute. Um.... what else?
OH! The other night my cousin had a drive-in movie on her garage with her projector. It was so fun. We watching 'Night at the Museum.' That is a funny show.
Oh and last night Rosie and I went up to my grandparents and walked down to popperton park. It was way funny. We tried to climb up the soccer posts and eventually made it. But our first attempts looked pretty fricken hilarious. Then we ate popsicle... haha 'what now....!' haha. we are cool. But anyway. That is what is going on in my life at the moment. Talk to 'yal laterz!

Quotes and Thoughts

"I'm crazy, I'm silly, I'm funny, I'm cute, I'm brave, I'm girly, I'm sweet, I'm loud, I'm cheerful, I'm opinionated, I'm energetic, I'm annoying, I'm fun, I'm outgoing, sometimes I'm not everything I wish I could be, I'm everything I need to be. I'm just me, and I like it like that."

"Eventually- You realize that life sucks, Love isn't always real, and Happiness is only for a limited time. You learn who your real friends are, You learn to hold back tears, and You learn how to act like you don't care."

"I want a boy I can run to in tears and, with no explaination, he will just hold."

"Isn't it ironic. We ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hate us."

"Sometimes, it would be nice to be wrong about people."

"You can only push a girl away for so long, until she walks out of your life on her own. So be careful what you say and make sure this is what you want, because once she turns around, she's not coming back.*

"Life is not a movie, and Love is not a song."

"Unless you've lived my life, don't judge me becuase you don't know, never have, and never will know every little thing and detail about me."

"Sometimes you just need to be with the person who makes you smile, even if it means waiting."

"I'm not a perfect girl. My hair doesn't always stay in place and I spill things alot. I'm pretty clumsy and sometimes I have a broken heart. My friends and I sometimes fight and maybe somedays nothing goes right, but when I think about it and take a step back, I remember how amazing life truly is and that maybe, just maybe. I like being unperfect..."

Alot of these quotes I had in the back of a notebook that I had all this year at school. You can definitely tell what my mood was that day from the quotes that are written down. But I was looking through it and these are some that just sort of fit with my mood right now. Then I found something I once said to a good friend when I was having a hard day and so was she...

If you settle for mediocre you will only have a mediocre life, But if you figt for what you truly love... you will find something amazing.

Sometimes you find that perfect quote that describes you at that moment and sometimes you feel like you are to many quotes at once. This is completely random. But yeah. Goodnight.

Watching Batman

So Rosie and I are watching Batman Begins and it is sweet. We have decided to go to Batman: Dark Knight on monday at the IMAX so it will be a party. If you want to come you should give either Rosie or I money by tonight and we will get the tickets. But if we don't get them by today you have to buy them yourselves. So yeah. You should come. It will be a party. Anyway.
Today has been cool. Rosie and I went to the farmer's market and got hena on our feet. It looks really cool. Mine is like a vine with flowers. I might attach a picture so you will see. Ha ha. Hey look I did. But it looks funny unless I write more so I am just going to write some stuff. Um so last night after I finally decided to go to bed it sucked. In Rosie's kitchen they have this spider killer that constantly clicks and it was SO annoying. Then the air conditioning was blowing incredibly loud. Then I could hear Rosie's little brothers friend laughing. It sucked. I do not recommend it. Anyways. Also about the hena, Rosie's is like one big flower. Anyway. Yeah it was fun. But um. Now we are watching Batman so I am going to stop blogging cuz I feel rude. :D Have a nice day! And say your please and thank you's. And don't forget to appreciate your friends and family. Wow I am a nerd. But once again I am just trying to fill-up space. So I will be done now.

Note To Self:

Never play frogger at 3 o'clock in the morning. it makes you feel like you are on speed, cuz i was playing it and the cars kept getting faster and faster. it made me really sick. then i decided what the heck i will play inklink... yeah you need adobe in order to play it and rosie's computer doesn't have that. Then i decided I am bored so what the heck, I went on to neopets (yes, i know i am a nerd) but the games weren't as fun as they were when i was in fifth grade, so finally i went onto ebaumsworld and the stupid stick avalanche game wouldn't work so i decided to play a game called portal and it is so frustrating. I can't get past level six and it is SO annoying, ugh. oh well. i think i might just play a good game of freecell. But moral of the story, don't play frustrating games at three in the morning. ha ha. goodnight and good day.... once again.
(3:00 AM)


HOLY COW! I just did the idiot test on ebaumsworld. It is SO frustrating. Oh my goodness. But good news... I finished it and it said I was brilliant so I feel a little better. ha ha. But yeah. Don't take it, or do. Whichever you prefer :)
(3:09 AM)


Oh my goodness! I just beat totem destroyer on ebaumsworld! I don't think I have felt this accomplished all week. wow. I really am a retard. hm. oh well. haha. well now i am going to go look for some other pointless games... but i might go to bed. I feel a hint of exhaustion coming on. hm. we'll see.
(3:47 AM)

So I just spent fifteen minutes running around as a little electrical mouse eating crappy graphic food. It was exciting. But then it stopped. And during it Rosie's little brothers' friend came upstairs and now him and his friends are like spying on me. It is a tad creepy. So I think I will go lay down so they stop bugging me. So I hope for a final time I bid you goodnight and good day.
(3:59 AM)

Insomnia

Man I hope i spelled insomnia right. ha ha. But yeah I am sleeping at Rosie's and as always she fell asleep during the movie. We were watching disturbia and after what had happened tonight i was really freaked out. A person had started texting me about what.... five days ago and I had no idea who it was. I asked and they said it was the person I liked, and since I don't really like anyone right now I got oober confused. Then tonight they text me again and asked what color my toothbrush was and then another one of my favorite colors was. It was really creepy. So Rosie called the number on her phone with *67. The guy answered and I had never heard that voice. I was so creeped out. Then Rosie left a message on his voicemail and said not to text me and the guy text me and said "I'm shaking in my boots. goodnight. ha ha." I was way freaked out. Anyway. Later on I called Verizon and they said they couldn't block the phone and so Rosie and I got onto this site to look up numbers and it said the guy lived in Provo. Then I asked again and the guy told me his name. I later found out that he had 'found the number on the ground' and it was from one of the girls who I went to OYA with. I was still a little shaken though. So watching disturbia was creepy. Ha ha. Rosie just woke up and said it would be cool to jump out of a plane then went back to bed. Wow she is cool.
Anyway. So hm. What is new and exciting that I could write about. Well I guess it doesn't necessarily have to be new, so whatever. Um. Yeah. So lately I have had issues sleeping at night. I guess it is cuz I have way to much on my mind. Hence why I am writing in this blog, cuz honestly I only write on this thing when I am incredibly bored. But um. I wish that life was simple. That there was an on/off switch and if you didn't want to feel a certain way at a certain time you wouldn't have to. Or you could just stop and rewind and do something over. Then you could fix everything, cuz I definitely regret some of actions. But then I wish you could fast forward so maybe things could be different. For instance, if the last two months of my life had happened in a month or two I think things would have been alot different. But then I guess that is life. And you have to just keep going. Even if it means running. Which might I add, I hate running so I don't know why I do track. Ha ha. But yeah. I wish I could fix some things. Oh and I wish I could make it so people did things differently so they wouldn't screw up their own lives, cuz I see things happen I know it is going to have a bad outcome and I just sit there and watch. I mean sometimes I try to change it but it never seems to work. I feel like such an idiot sometimes. I dunno. I'm not very sure about anything lately though.
But yeah. 'Life goes on." So you might as well keep smiling :D Even if it means not being completely open about everything. Ugh this sucks. Everyone I was texting stop texting and so I am just awaked alone. This stinks. Hm. Then again I have been pretty alone lately. Ever since my sister was in a car accident everything has been about her at home, I mean don't get me wrong she deserves to be taken care of, but it has kind of gotten to the point were I feel like the forgotten child. I mean my mom goes to work. Comes home. Plays with Emma. Take care of Megan. And goes to bed. Megan get up, hangs out with Dominick or Tanner, goes to a few appointments, naps, and then hangs out with someone else then goes to bed. I get up, o to volleyball and then I am on my own. Recently I have taken to playing Oblivion and making ringtones on phonezoo but it gets old really fast. Then Megan will want to hang out rarely but then she gets cranky and irritable. Today I slept in til three o'clock in the afternoon cuz I was sick and no one noticed. I woke up and I had no text messages, no missed calls, not voicemails. Megan was gone, Emma was gone (my grandpa had taken her to school in the morning after yelling at me for not getting her ready), and my mom had gotten home from work and was taking a nap. By the time I had gotten out of bed my mom had taken Megan to an appointment and the house was completely silent. I feel like the only time my mom does notice me is when she is getting mad at me about going out of town another week or making the kitchen dirty one day. I feel like I can never make her happy. It sucks. But if I get sad my mom gets mad to, so no matter what I just have to be happy and it is really hard sometimes. I dunno.
Life is alot more complicated than it should be And I wish it was like cinderella or beauty and the beast with a fairy tale ending, but it never is. Who knows, maybe I will get a fairy tale ending some day. But it's not looking very likely. Well this is getting to be quite a long blog so I am going to stop writing. I might write another one in a minute but who knows. So at 2:06 AM in the morning i bid you goodnight and good day.

OYA

So I just got back from OYA and it was definitely one of the most amazing experiences I have EVER had. The people in my group were truly remarkable and I love them to death. I went with my three cousins, Sarah Price, Sarah Bennett, and Michelle. They are The best girls ever.
We went up on Monday the seventh on a bus, and let me tell you, I have never played such an intense game of bus tag in my life. Haha. It was so fun to be with the girls because we could all just relax and have fun. Anywho. So we got up to OYA check-in (at BYY-Idaho) and Michelle and I realized that there were two guys there that had been in our group last year at EFY. Sadly, or luckily, they were not in our group. We got up to Badger Creek (which is were OYA takes place) and met our group. There were six girls and seven boys total so I was so excited. And our counselors were amazing.
Throughout the week we did so many things. Including climbing up this crazy high log and jumping off, going on a giant swing, playing on a jungle gym ropes course, horse-back riding, river rafting, and rock climbing, plus alot more. But my favorite parts were sitting up late around the camp fire and going on our one day trek. When we would stay up late and just talk around the camp fire you could just relax, the only down-side is that is was kinda cold. But we would just sit up and talk and the couselors would go to sleep. They really trusted us and that was way cool.
Oh, and also, the one-day-trek was AMAZING. Each group had to hand-carts to pull and at first it didn't seem that bad cuz the entire trek is only four miles. But we got half way and the boys were told to leave and run the rest of the trek. That stunk to have them go. But my group of girls all got together and just had a great big group hug. We only had six girls in our group so that meant we only had three girls per cart. When we started it didn't seem that bad, but then the hill started slanting and there were huge cracks in the road, not to mention a TON of rocks. So we pulled and pushed as much as we could. At one point the cart infront of us got stuck so my group quickly (and I mean REALLY quickly) had a water break. At that time I asked my counselor how much further and she said we still had half way to go. I thought I was going to collapse and just cry right then. But we all got up and kept going. Carts kept getting stuck so two of my cousins and I put our cart down and ran to help. Before any of us knew what happened a girl fell under the cart. It was so scary. But she was ok. Then we went back to our cart and I fell on my knee and scratched it up. It hurt. Then I looked back and saw my other cousin who was pulling the other cart and she was almost in tears. I felt so bad. (Later I found out that the cart had basically run her over.) We were almost to the top and started helping another group with their cart when we saw the boys at the top. They were just standing there silently. My cousins and I ran back down to our cart and pulled it up singing 'Choose the Right' (because we had to stay to the right side of the road or we would have fallen into a divet) and finally we reached the boys. We walked right past them and they just stood there. I wanted to cry, then before I realized what had happened they had taken the cart from us and I was just standing there in awe. I almost collapsed but didn't.
Later that night our whole group wrestled and talked. It was SO fun. Then we went to bed. Friday morning I woke up and realized I had to go home soon. I didn't want to at all. We had an hour of time to just sit by ourselves and think and do whatever we wanted. I wrote in my journal and the whole time the song 'Joseph Smith's First Prayer' was going through my head. I have never felt more at ease. We walked back down the path with our carts and I rolled my ankle at the very bottom. (I'm so glad I didn't roll my ankle earlier in the week, cuz it still hurts.) We had the award ceremony, and our group won house cup. Then we got on the buses and went back to BYU-Idaho. After that my cousins and I rode the bus back to Salt Lake.
OYA was truly amazing and I wish I could go back. The counselors were awesome and motivated me all week. Even though we would go to bed at midnight and then wake up at six I never felt tired, I didn't even care that every one smelled terrible (probably because I had gotten so used to it. haha) But I am so glad I went. And it was truly remarkable. Coming back to reality was definitely not easy.

Just Wishing...

I'm just a girl who wishes...
that there were no expectations,
no worries,
no intimidation,
no drama,
no regulations,
no judgement,
and no stress.
Life is so complicated because of these things.
If you could just wake up and do whatever you wanted...
That would be convenient.
I mean I guess you can, but sometimes it will backfire.
So you always have to worry.
I wish you could just be yourself and not care.
Some people can do that.
But I care a little too much about what people think of me.
Which is no good.
But my wish is that no one will judge you for doing something,
or having some crazy idea,
or acting a little stupid
People should just relax and have fun!

Reality Check

In the beginning...
God created the Earth! (and he did a mighty fine job, too!)
Then some while after that came me.
I am fifteen years old.
Almost sixteen, but not pushing it.
Yeah. First blog is always really lame.
Rosie wanted me to make this.
So yeah.
.......Um.......
Wow. Rosie is cool... haha!
Anyway.
I had to come ack to reality yesterday after returning from OYA.
Sad day. I wish I could go back.
But oh well.
Life here is cool too, I guess.
Anyway.
Yeah. Ok.
The End!