Quotes and Thoughts

"I'm crazy, I'm silly, I'm funny, I'm cute, I'm brave, I'm girly, I'm sweet, I'm loud, I'm cheerful, I'm opinionated, I'm energetic, I'm annoying, I'm fun, I'm outgoing, sometimes I'm not everything I wish I could be, I'm everything I need to be. I'm just me, and I like it like that."

"Eventually- You realize that life sucks, Love isn't always real, and Happiness is only for a limited time. You learn who your real friends are, You learn to hold back tears, and You learn how to act like you don't care."

"I want a boy I can run to in tears and, with no explaination, he will just hold."

"Isn't it ironic. We ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hate us."

"Sometimes, it would be nice to be wrong about people."

"You can only push a girl away for so long, until she walks out of your life on her own. So be careful what you say and make sure this is what you want, because once she turns around, she's not coming back.*

"Life is not a movie, and Love is not a song."

"Unless you've lived my life, don't judge me becuase you don't know, never have, and never will know every little thing and detail about me."

"Sometimes you just need to be with the person who makes you smile, even if it means waiting."

"I'm not a perfect girl. My hair doesn't always stay in place and I spill things alot. I'm pretty clumsy and sometimes I have a broken heart. My friends and I sometimes fight and maybe somedays nothing goes right, but when I think about it and take a step back, I remember how amazing life truly is and that maybe, just maybe. I like being unperfect..."

Alot of these quotes I had in the back of a notebook that I had all this year at school. You can definitely tell what my mood was that day from the quotes that are written down. But I was looking through it and these are some that just sort of fit with my mood right now. Then I found something I once said to a good friend when I was having a hard day and so was she...

If you settle for mediocre you will only have a mediocre life, But if you figt for what you truly love... you will find something amazing.

Sometimes you find that perfect quote that describes you at that moment and sometimes you feel like you are to many quotes at once. This is completely random. But yeah. Goodnight.

Watching Batman

So Rosie and I are watching Batman Begins and it is sweet. We have decided to go to Batman: Dark Knight on monday at the IMAX so it will be a party. If you want to come you should give either Rosie or I money by tonight and we will get the tickets. But if we don't get them by today you have to buy them yourselves. So yeah. You should come. It will be a party. Anyway.
Today has been cool. Rosie and I went to the farmer's market and got hena on our feet. It looks really cool. Mine is like a vine with flowers. I might attach a picture so you will see. Ha ha. Hey look I did. But it looks funny unless I write more so I am just going to write some stuff. Um so last night after I finally decided to go to bed it sucked. In Rosie's kitchen they have this spider killer that constantly clicks and it was SO annoying. Then the air conditioning was blowing incredibly loud. Then I could hear Rosie's little brothers friend laughing. It sucked. I do not recommend it. Anyways. Also about the hena, Rosie's is like one big flower. Anyway. Yeah it was fun. But um. Now we are watching Batman so I am going to stop blogging cuz I feel rude. :D Have a nice day! And say your please and thank you's. And don't forget to appreciate your friends and family. Wow I am a nerd. But once again I am just trying to fill-up space. So I will be done now.

Note To Self:

Never play frogger at 3 o'clock in the morning. it makes you feel like you are on speed, cuz i was playing it and the cars kept getting faster and faster. it made me really sick. then i decided what the heck i will play inklink... yeah you need adobe in order to play it and rosie's computer doesn't have that. Then i decided I am bored so what the heck, I went on to neopets (yes, i know i am a nerd) but the games weren't as fun as they were when i was in fifth grade, so finally i went onto ebaumsworld and the stupid stick avalanche game wouldn't work so i decided to play a game called portal and it is so frustrating. I can't get past level six and it is SO annoying, ugh. oh well. i think i might just play a good game of freecell. But moral of the story, don't play frustrating games at three in the morning. ha ha. goodnight and good day.... once again.
(3:00 AM)


HOLY COW! I just did the idiot test on ebaumsworld. It is SO frustrating. Oh my goodness. But good news... I finished it and it said I was brilliant so I feel a little better. ha ha. But yeah. Don't take it, or do. Whichever you prefer :)
(3:09 AM)


Oh my goodness! I just beat totem destroyer on ebaumsworld! I don't think I have felt this accomplished all week. wow. I really am a retard. hm. oh well. haha. well now i am going to go look for some other pointless games... but i might go to bed. I feel a hint of exhaustion coming on. hm. we'll see.
(3:47 AM)

So I just spent fifteen minutes running around as a little electrical mouse eating crappy graphic food. It was exciting. But then it stopped. And during it Rosie's little brothers' friend came upstairs and now him and his friends are like spying on me. It is a tad creepy. So I think I will go lay down so they stop bugging me. So I hope for a final time I bid you goodnight and good day.
(3:59 AM)

Insomnia

Man I hope i spelled insomnia right. ha ha. But yeah I am sleeping at Rosie's and as always she fell asleep during the movie. We were watching disturbia and after what had happened tonight i was really freaked out. A person had started texting me about what.... five days ago and I had no idea who it was. I asked and they said it was the person I liked, and since I don't really like anyone right now I got oober confused. Then tonight they text me again and asked what color my toothbrush was and then another one of my favorite colors was. It was really creepy. So Rosie called the number on her phone with *67. The guy answered and I had never heard that voice. I was so creeped out. Then Rosie left a message on his voicemail and said not to text me and the guy text me and said "I'm shaking in my boots. goodnight. ha ha." I was way freaked out. Anyway. Later on I called Verizon and they said they couldn't block the phone and so Rosie and I got onto this site to look up numbers and it said the guy lived in Provo. Then I asked again and the guy told me his name. I later found out that he had 'found the number on the ground' and it was from one of the girls who I went to OYA with. I was still a little shaken though. So watching disturbia was creepy. Ha ha. Rosie just woke up and said it would be cool to jump out of a plane then went back to bed. Wow she is cool.
Anyway. So hm. What is new and exciting that I could write about. Well I guess it doesn't necessarily have to be new, so whatever. Um. Yeah. So lately I have had issues sleeping at night. I guess it is cuz I have way to much on my mind. Hence why I am writing in this blog, cuz honestly I only write on this thing when I am incredibly bored. But um. I wish that life was simple. That there was an on/off switch and if you didn't want to feel a certain way at a certain time you wouldn't have to. Or you could just stop and rewind and do something over. Then you could fix everything, cuz I definitely regret some of actions. But then I wish you could fast forward so maybe things could be different. For instance, if the last two months of my life had happened in a month or two I think things would have been alot different. But then I guess that is life. And you have to just keep going. Even if it means running. Which might I add, I hate running so I don't know why I do track. Ha ha. But yeah. I wish I could fix some things. Oh and I wish I could make it so people did things differently so they wouldn't screw up their own lives, cuz I see things happen I know it is going to have a bad outcome and I just sit there and watch. I mean sometimes I try to change it but it never seems to work. I feel like such an idiot sometimes. I dunno. I'm not very sure about anything lately though.
But yeah. 'Life goes on." So you might as well keep smiling :D Even if it means not being completely open about everything. Ugh this sucks. Everyone I was texting stop texting and so I am just awaked alone. This stinks. Hm. Then again I have been pretty alone lately. Ever since my sister was in a car accident everything has been about her at home, I mean don't get me wrong she deserves to be taken care of, but it has kind of gotten to the point were I feel like the forgotten child. I mean my mom goes to work. Comes home. Plays with Emma. Take care of Megan. And goes to bed. Megan get up, hangs out with Dominick or Tanner, goes to a few appointments, naps, and then hangs out with someone else then goes to bed. I get up, o to volleyball and then I am on my own. Recently I have taken to playing Oblivion and making ringtones on phonezoo but it gets old really fast. Then Megan will want to hang out rarely but then she gets cranky and irritable. Today I slept in til three o'clock in the afternoon cuz I was sick and no one noticed. I woke up and I had no text messages, no missed calls, not voicemails. Megan was gone, Emma was gone (my grandpa had taken her to school in the morning after yelling at me for not getting her ready), and my mom had gotten home from work and was taking a nap. By the time I had gotten out of bed my mom had taken Megan to an appointment and the house was completely silent. I feel like the only time my mom does notice me is when she is getting mad at me about going out of town another week or making the kitchen dirty one day. I feel like I can never make her happy. It sucks. But if I get sad my mom gets mad to, so no matter what I just have to be happy and it is really hard sometimes. I dunno.
Life is alot more complicated than it should be And I wish it was like cinderella or beauty and the beast with a fairy tale ending, but it never is. Who knows, maybe I will get a fairy tale ending some day. But it's not looking very likely. Well this is getting to be quite a long blog so I am going to stop writing. I might write another one in a minute but who knows. So at 2:06 AM in the morning i bid you goodnight and good day.

OYA

So I just got back from OYA and it was definitely one of the most amazing experiences I have EVER had. The people in my group were truly remarkable and I love them to death. I went with my three cousins, Sarah Price, Sarah Bennett, and Michelle. They are The best girls ever.
We went up on Monday the seventh on a bus, and let me tell you, I have never played such an intense game of bus tag in my life. Haha. It was so fun to be with the girls because we could all just relax and have fun. Anywho. So we got up to OYA check-in (at BYY-Idaho) and Michelle and I realized that there were two guys there that had been in our group last year at EFY. Sadly, or luckily, they were not in our group. We got up to Badger Creek (which is were OYA takes place) and met our group. There were six girls and seven boys total so I was so excited. And our counselors were amazing.
Throughout the week we did so many things. Including climbing up this crazy high log and jumping off, going on a giant swing, playing on a jungle gym ropes course, horse-back riding, river rafting, and rock climbing, plus alot more. But my favorite parts were sitting up late around the camp fire and going on our one day trek. When we would stay up late and just talk around the camp fire you could just relax, the only down-side is that is was kinda cold. But we would just sit up and talk and the couselors would go to sleep. They really trusted us and that was way cool.
Oh, and also, the one-day-trek was AMAZING. Each group had to hand-carts to pull and at first it didn't seem that bad cuz the entire trek is only four miles. But we got half way and the boys were told to leave and run the rest of the trek. That stunk to have them go. But my group of girls all got together and just had a great big group hug. We only had six girls in our group so that meant we only had three girls per cart. When we started it didn't seem that bad, but then the hill started slanting and there were huge cracks in the road, not to mention a TON of rocks. So we pulled and pushed as much as we could. At one point the cart infront of us got stuck so my group quickly (and I mean REALLY quickly) had a water break. At that time I asked my counselor how much further and she said we still had half way to go. I thought I was going to collapse and just cry right then. But we all got up and kept going. Carts kept getting stuck so two of my cousins and I put our cart down and ran to help. Before any of us knew what happened a girl fell under the cart. It was so scary. But she was ok. Then we went back to our cart and I fell on my knee and scratched it up. It hurt. Then I looked back and saw my other cousin who was pulling the other cart and she was almost in tears. I felt so bad. (Later I found out that the cart had basically run her over.) We were almost to the top and started helping another group with their cart when we saw the boys at the top. They were just standing there silently. My cousins and I ran back down to our cart and pulled it up singing 'Choose the Right' (because we had to stay to the right side of the road or we would have fallen into a divet) and finally we reached the boys. We walked right past them and they just stood there. I wanted to cry, then before I realized what had happened they had taken the cart from us and I was just standing there in awe. I almost collapsed but didn't.
Later that night our whole group wrestled and talked. It was SO fun. Then we went to bed. Friday morning I woke up and realized I had to go home soon. I didn't want to at all. We had an hour of time to just sit by ourselves and think and do whatever we wanted. I wrote in my journal and the whole time the song 'Joseph Smith's First Prayer' was going through my head. I have never felt more at ease. We walked back down the path with our carts and I rolled my ankle at the very bottom. (I'm so glad I didn't roll my ankle earlier in the week, cuz it still hurts.) We had the award ceremony, and our group won house cup. Then we got on the buses and went back to BYU-Idaho. After that my cousins and I rode the bus back to Salt Lake.
OYA was truly amazing and I wish I could go back. The counselors were awesome and motivated me all week. Even though we would go to bed at midnight and then wake up at six I never felt tired, I didn't even care that every one smelled terrible (probably because I had gotten so used to it. haha) But I am so glad I went. And it was truly remarkable. Coming back to reality was definitely not easy.

Just Wishing...

I'm just a girl who wishes...
that there were no expectations,
no worries,
no intimidation,
no drama,
no regulations,
no judgement,
and no stress.
Life is so complicated because of these things.
If you could just wake up and do whatever you wanted...
That would be convenient.
I mean I guess you can, but sometimes it will backfire.
So you always have to worry.
I wish you could just be yourself and not care.
Some people can do that.
But I care a little too much about what people think of me.
Which is no good.
But my wish is that no one will judge you for doing something,
or having some crazy idea,
or acting a little stupid
People should just relax and have fun!

Reality Check

In the beginning...
God created the Earth! (and he did a mighty fine job, too!)
Then some while after that came me.
I am fifteen years old.
Almost sixteen, but not pushing it.
Yeah. First blog is always really lame.
Rosie wanted me to make this.
So yeah.
.......Um.......
Wow. Rosie is cool... haha!
Anyway.
I had to come ack to reality yesterday after returning from OYA.
Sad day. I wish I could go back.
But oh well.
Life here is cool too, I guess.
Anyway.
Yeah. Ok.
The End!